Flower Fairies

Shortly after the birth of my daughter a friend of John's approached him asking specific details about her and her birth. John was a little confused but proudly offered up the details the man had asked. A week later, John's friend stopped by and presented us with a beautiful framed piece of artwork. The picture was of a beautiful fairy and underneath the photo was Cheyenne's full name and birthdate. I had never given the photo much thought but proudly displayed it in the munchkin's room. And now, 4 years later, we have details and boy are they ever neat.

John's sister was in town this weekend and since she will not be here for Cheyenne's birthday she gave her her present on Saturday. She presented Chey with a beautifully wrapped gift and inside were 2 books about "Flower Fairies" As we skimmed the pages I stumbled upon a Fairy that looked oddly familiar. I showed it to John and he confirmed what I was thinking " That's the one that's up on her wall" When we got home, I typed in the website that was on the back of the book and found a link called " find a fairy" It asked for your birthdate and the letter of your first name. When I typed it in, I got the results as being the exact fairy that is in the picture. I couldn't believe my eyes. This man had researched and found my daughter's Fairy.

Cheyenne's Fairy is named Columbine and she is the Columbine Flower's fairy. Columbine flowers blossom in June and attract humming birds. She is also the "dancing" fairy and is an excellent ballerina. Her clothing is made from Columbine petals so that she can blend in without being noticed by humans.

These "fairies" were designed up by Cicely Mary Barker and they date back to the 1920's. There are numerous books and such designed by her and every flower has a fairy.

Here is the link to Cheyenne's fairy: http://www.flowerfairies.com/fun/fairy_song.cfm?cid=2&fid=16
If you look on the side there is the link "Fairy Finder" where you can find out which fairy is "your's" I should warn you that not all of the letters contain fairies. And, if that is the case you can use your birthday flower ( example: June is the Rose) and find your fairy that way.

I have decided that as soon as I get a job and have some extra money I am going to plant a garden containing Columbine flowers in it with Cheyenne. I am then placing one of these
http://www.onlinediscountmart.com/75-22-0515.html in it. What a cool story behind that photo. Something to tell her when she's grown.

Where in the world?

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? I ask because My "aunt" is an employee of a major airline and gets tickets to anywhere for free. She asked John to do some work at their house and in exchange for his work he gets two tickets to anywhere the airline flies. And, since it's a BIG one, they fly anywhere. So, we're debating on where we should go. I thought about Disney and then 86'd that idea because those are tickets we can actually afford. I want something BIG........so, give me some ideas please!

Household Duties 101

Men,

I figured I'd type this post out for you since some of you out there are a tad on the dumb side when it comes to women and housework. This is only intended as a guide and if any of you have a problem with what I am saying I'd prefer not to hear about it. That said, let's get a few things straight:

-Working a 40 hour per week does not make you immune to doing dishes, wiping baby asses, doing laundry or other various household duties. If this were the case every woman in America would have a full-time job outside of the home and nobody would have to clean. Also, do not come home and ask "what we did all day". This is insulting and if you'd like to know exactly what we do all day I'm sure there is someway we could type of an invoice and bill you for it.

-Turning your underwear inside out or wearing the same pair of socks for a month does not constitute doing laundry. There is an actual machine for that and you need to familiarize yourselves with it.

-Walking over a toy or other displaced item within a home does not make the item disappear. There also isn't a fairy who visits the house each night to pick these items up. Simply picking the item up and placing it in it's proper location in the home is a simple task that even a rhesus monkey can perform. If you are smart enough to figure out how to wiggle your way out of doing housework, you are smart enough to know where items belong. You did not just move into a new home ( and if you did I'm sure your female companion will let this rule slide for a while) so don't act as if you have no idea where the "Tickle me Elmo" belongs.

-There is a name for the little yellow dots that adorn the rim of the toilet seat. They are called Piss Spots and I have some specific instructions on how to rid your home of these. All you need to do is take a piece of toilet paper and rub the rim of the toilet in a circular motion. I know you are familiar with the circular motion; it's the same move you use when you rub our asses in bed each night. If you feel the need to move your arm in that fashion, clean up your piss stains. Us women would like to know why piss stains are present on our seats in the first place. You seem to have impecible aim when shooting a ball into a hoop or shooting an arrow at a target, yet you can not manage to aim a stream of piss into a hole that is less than 2 feet in front of you. I'm sure you can understand our confusion.

-Facial hair in the sink is not a decorative touch. It is gross and it needs to go. This one is an easy fix: Turn on the damn faucet and rinse hair into the drain. If you can take the time to remove the hair from your face, you can take the time to remove it from the sink that was probably just cleaned the day before.

-Sending us on a scavenger hunt for dirty laundry is not fun and it needs to stop. Again, an easy fix. When you remove your clothing at the end of the day place it into the basket that is designated for this. That way when we go to do your laundry we have it all in one place. If for some reason you think that you want us to play hide-n-seek throughout the day, leave boxes of jewelery sporatically placed throught the home. Finding a blue Tiffany's box under the couch is much more interesting than finding a dirty sock there.

- Rubbing our asses and tweaking our nipples does not constitute foreplay. If you feel the incessant need to touch us, rub our backs or massage our feet. We need it after a long day of cleaning up after you. If you prefer to have actual sex, re-read the above paragraphs and heed their instructions. With a little help from you, we probably won't have "headaches" or be "too tired" for some intimacy.

Well, men, I hope you have enjoyed your crash course in Household duties 101. If for any reason you do not understand something contained in this article, I suggest hiring your wife a maid. Thank you and enjoy your day.

Just like old times

This morning I got a frantic phone call from John. He had left his man purse( a.k.a. A lunchbox in which he carries not only his lunch, but important papers and his wallet) at home and needed me to come and bring it to him. Since he is working minutes away from the house I tell him I will be there around noon, just in time for lunch. I got there about 20 minutes til' noon and when I pulled up to the home in which he was working, I caught a glimpse of my hubby up there on the roof, doing his manly work sans shirt. I immediately caught myself having dirty thoughts about my husband. I got all "hot and bothered" watching him up there. I met John back in 2000 when my parents hired his company to do work at their house. On the day the crew was scheduled to begin work on the house I had to work. As I was turning onto our street I noticed that the crew had already accomplished a ton of work. I will never forget the words that popped into my head at that moment " Dear Lord, please let there be a hot ass carpenter up there for me" I said this to myself jokingly not knowing that there was, in fact, a hot ass carpenter up on my parents roof. When I pulled into the driveway I looked up in awe at the roof seeing how different the house had looked in just a short amount of time. It was at that moment that I saw " HIM" My mouth just about hit the ground and it took every ounce of self control that I had not to make it obvious that I found this man extremely sexy. He had washboard abs, arms made of rock and a kick-ass tan to go with it all. I walked into the house " Mom, who is that hottie up on the roof?" She laughed and said " Oh, that's John. He's 25 and single" She handed me a glass of water and said " here, go give this to him. He's been out in the sun all day and I'm sure he'll appreciate this" I walked out to the back where he was stacking up some materials. " Here you go" I said. He looked up and I will never forget the look on his face when he saw me. " Thanks." I walked back inside and did the little " OMG he thinks I'm cute" dance. From that day on, I seized whatever opportunity existed for me to make some type of contact with him. After a few weeks of him working there his boss approached me and said " You know, Johnny has the hots for you. He's very shy and reserved and he won't talk to you because he thinks you're way out of his league. You should go talk to him, it would make his day." On that day ( June 17th 2000) as he was packing up his truck for the day I made my way outside. "Hey" I called to him. "Who me?" I giggled " yeah, you. What are you doing tonight?" "Uh, nothing really. I don't have anything going on" "Oh, well. I was just wondering if you wanted to go and grab a bite to eat or something. You don't have to if you don't want to. I just figured you'd be hungry after all that work" " Well, yeah. Sure, I'd love to go out and eat. I just need to get showered and changed and all that and then I'll come back and get you around 7. Is that o.k.? I nodded and scampered into the house to go and get ready. My neighbor at the time had observed all of this and was in my house in no time. She was pissed. You see, the day they started working her and I had a conversation about how hot he was. She insisted that HE was HERS and that I better not get in the way. She, of course was kidding, but she had to razz me about it that night. I should make mention of the fact that this women would've tried to obtain him had she been even slightly attractive. We went to eat and that was the beginning of our relationship. I should also mention that I did everything in my girly power to keep his interest. I would conviently "sun-bathe" when he was around. Or, I'd just happen to drop something that needed to be picked up immediately when he was in eyeshot of my ass. Those were the good ole' days. The days when our sexual energy was at it's peek. Obviously, once Cheyenne entered the picture things kinda fizzled out. They aren't completely dead....but they're not even close to what they once were. But, today after seeing my hubby on the roof of that house looking as sexy as ever those feelings of passion resurfaced. And, there is no question that I will be showing my hubby tonight, just how sexy I think he still is~ LOL

I hate bed time

Bed time in this house sucks! It is a royal pain to get my daughter to bed at an early time. It is even more of a pain to have her go to bed peacefully. But, to an extent I understand.

I've always had sleep issues. When I was a few days old I was awake during the night and I slept all day. When I got older I can rember seeing "snakes" and "dragons" crawling around my bed and it scared the crap out of me. Because of this I would sneak into the comfort of my parents bed until I was almost 8 years old. Even at 8 I had sleep issues. I was teased starting at a young age becuase of my height and my glasses; thoughts of things kids said to me at school would fill my head at bedtime and it was almost impossible to sleep. Around the age of 13 my parents began to have marital issues. My Dad spent 3-4 days on the road for work and it pissed my mom off royally to have to care for 3 young kids on her own. He would call her at odd hours and arguments would ensue. I would hear things like " fuck you, I want a divorce!" or " why the hell did we even have kids? You didn't want to be a father you wanted to be a traveling man" or even worse " I can't stand being with these kids by myself all the time" I can't say that I blame her. I'd be pretty upset if I had 3 small kids to care for on my own with no vehicle to get around. It was a pretty sad life for my mom back then. But, you can imagine how hard it was to sleep listening to your mom cry and scream. And now as an adult, grocery lists, bills that are due and things that were said between John and I fill my head when I should be asleep.

So, I'm guessing that the issues that Cheynne has at bedtime are just natural. But, it is rather draining having to usher a 4 year old back to her bed every 5 minutes. And frankly, I don't know what to do about it. I don't have much of an issue letting her crash in my bed but John doesn't like it and I feel torn. My loyalty lies with my daughter and I feel guilty having to put her back into her bed when she's scared or has had a nightmare. It makes me sad to see the pitiful look on her face when she stares up at me with her big baby blues as if to say " why can't I just cuddle with you in your bed where I feel safe and protected?" And, when you think about it, nobody likes to sleep alone. I know that I can't sleep well if John isn't home and the bed is cold and lonely. Can you even imagine what it must be like as a 4 year old who doesn't truly grasp the concept of "adult alone time?"

The reason I chose to post about this topic is because today, for the first time, I saw my daughter truly terrified. After I got her bathed and ready for bed I read her a few books and tucked her in for the night. She got out of bed and came to sit on the floor next to the computer to be by me. She asked for "one more kiss" and as I leaned in I noticed a black line all around the perimiter of her face. I said " What on earth is all over your face?" I could see then that she had no clue what I was talking about so I picked her up and showed her her face in the bathroom mirror. She freaked " what is it mommy? What is it? How did it get there?" There was sheer panic in her voice. It trembled. " What on earth were you messing with?" " Mommy, I wasn't messing with anything. What is it Mommy? Mommy!!!" I calmly wiped it off of her face but her terror was evident. She was shaking and as I held her close to me I could feel her heart racing. She was shaking and saying " I'm so sorry mommy, I'm so sorry. I don't know what was on my face. Is it all over my body? Was it from putting my hands in my mouth when I was outside? " She was crying and as I wiped the tears from her eyes I tried to soothe her. "Baby, it's o.k. I don't know what was on your face but it's gone now and it's o.k." But she still trembled. Finally, I laid down next to her and she drifted off while holding onto one of my hands. But you see, this was a compromise. Just a few minutes before I snuggled up next to her in her bed, she said " can i please sleep in your room tonight mommy?" and just as I was about to swoop her up and put her into the safety of my bed, I heard John mumbling from our room " NO! Sleep in your own bed, you'll be fine" At that moment I could feel my heart breaking into a million pieces. "I'm sorry Cheyenne, you have to sleep in your room tonight. Daddy has to get up early in the morning and can't sleep well with all of us in the bed" Not only did I have to lie to her but I had to make excuses for my husband. Luckily, Cheyenne took my " I'll snuggle with you here til' you fall asleep" offer rather well and all was well. As I slid out from beneath her covers, I gave her her one last kiss that she had requested earlier. And no, I do not know what the black stuff was all over her face, but I'm glad it was there because I got to be a hero to my baby girl.

Stuck

I am feeling out of sorts yet again. I feel like so many things have been thrown at me all at once and I have no idea how to process it all. There are so many days when I wish I were someone else. I know that everyone feels this way at times, but for me it's all the time. I don't like who I've become over the last few years. I used to be so confident and now I find myself questioning myself about even the smallest of issues. I feel like I have to be so many things to so many people and feel lost in the shuffle of day to day life. I have to be a mother to my daughter, a wife, a friend, a house keeper, a banker, a sister and daughter. I'm all of these things rolled up into one. But who am "I"??? I know I've posted before about the subject of being "just a mom". Most days I am content with that, but others I hate that I am just a mom. I don't like that when my husband comes home I don't have anything to offer him conversation wise. All I talk about is boring stuff that goes on around the house. I've had way too many chats start with "guess what your daughter did today?" or " You are not going to believe how much laundry I did" I would love to be able to tell stories about co-workers or get excited about meeting a quota or bitch about how much my boss sucks. But, I can't do that given my lack of education or experience in the working world. I haven't worked in an office outside the home in almost 4 years. I'm sure certain things have changed in the workplace and it scares me that I'm not up to date technology wise. It's not even like I don't have drive or passion or interests. There are several options I have been looking into but again, I question myself and my abilities. I hate that I start things and then never finish. I hate that the reason I don't finish is because I am afraid to fail. I would much rather throw in the towel by my choice than take the chance to fail even if I really tried. Lately, I have begun to regain interest in Real Estate. I started the classes last October and never finished them. I am exploring the possiblity of re-taking them to see if I am capable of finishing something. I love real estate. I always have. I am a voyer. I enjoy being nosey and seeing how others live. The whole process of buying and selling real estate gets my heart pumping. I don't know why I didn't finish. Actually, I do know why but I'm not about to get into all that. I pulled out my old text book this evening and began skimming the pages. I look at the stuff and think to myself "Hmmm....maybe I could do this" I don't know if I will do it or not but the idea of being my own boss really appeals to me. And, with a husband in the industry it couldn't hurt to finish. My ultimate goal would be to "flip" houses. With my real estate license and John's knowledge of construction I feel that would be a lucrative business to get into. I know it's a long shot but hey, you gotta "think big" right?

Happy Mother's Day

What a nice Mother's Day. The weather could've been a bit nicer but other than that it was perfect. I woke up to John whispering "happy mother's day" into my ear. He ran out to get some dounuts ( aka breakfast in bed LOL) As my gift I got a pink RAZR phone and all the matching pink accessories; they will be here Wed) I also got a nice card signed by my daughter and some JLO perfume and a nice card from my mom and dad. We headed to my 'rents around noon and got back around 4. As a special "treat" for mother's day, John totally cleaned the office and the bedroom. He also went through and tossed a bunch of his clothes that he no longer wears so that it eases up my laundry load drastically. So, all in all I couldn't have asked for a better mothers' day. So my friends...Happy mother's day to you all!!!!!!

Party Time!

Chey's birthday is just about 3 weeks away. It's hard to believe that my "baby" will be 4 in just a few weeks. It's NUTS to me! I've never been a huge fan of the kiddy birthday parties and for the past 3 birthdays we've keep it pretty simple with just family. But, since Chey is in Pre-K now I thought it would be nice to invite some of her pals from school. We've been brainstorming for a few months now about what we should do for her very 1st school party and we came up with the most perfect plan. She is having a "pony" party at a local stable. I ordered the kids some plastic cowboy hats and matching bandanas and little "purses" which will contain gold bubble gum coins. I also have a "horse shoe" game that the kids will be playing while waiting for their turn to ride the ponies. I wasn't too thrilled with her invite choice but it managed to still go with the theme of the party so I let it slide. She is super excited about her party and keeps asking me if it's time to get ready for her party. Poor little girl doesn't understand the concept of time yet. I have to admit that I'm pretty excited myself. I almost want to give myself a pat on the back for my excellent plan! Let the good times roll!

Canned

I got my pink slip today. It wasn't that much of a suprise but I was a little thrown by it. For those of you not familar with my employment history, I'll enlighten you a little :

Back in May of 2004, I began working for a woman by the name of "Linda" When I first interviewed with her, I made it very clear that I would be bringing my daughter along and that if she were to become sick, I would keep her at home. The 1st time the kiddo came down with something, she was sweet as pie. "OH, poor thing. Keep her home and I'll see you when she's better." But, the second time was a different story. Cheyenne had contracted some strange virus. She had open sores inside her mouth, on her tounge and her lips. She screamed in pain if she attempted to eat or drink. She began vomiting and she looked lethargic and a tad on the blue side. I called the doc and her words were " Get her to the ER, she sounds dehydrated" I immediately called my boss and could tell by the sound of her voice that she was not happy. " Just take her to the ER and call me as soon as you're done" At the ER she was poked and prodded. The docs said that had I not brought her in she would've become dehydrated but I caught it just in time and all that was needed was a few strawberry popscicles. But, they informed me that her sores in her mouth were highly contagious and that I should keep her away from kids until the sores closed up. UH-OH boss won't like this I thought to myself. I put a call into "Linda" and she gave me a lecture like no other. " This is so unprofessional. I have a business to run, I can't have you taking days off because of some sores in your daughters mouth. Just bring her here, I don't care if the kids get it." I tried to explain that they were painful and that I wouldn't feel right if her kids got it and had to suffer. I told her I wasn't coming in and that I would have the ER docs give me a note. A note is what I got and it read something like " Cheyenne has a highly contagious virus that causes open mouth ulcers, high fever and diarreah. She is to be quarentined until the ulcers dissapate and the fever does not return for 24 hours. If you have any questions you can reach me at (***) ***-**** Luckily he had written a note in lay terms because I had explained to him the situation with my boss. When I returned to work on my next scheduled day I again got a lecture to which I replied ( in my head of course) WHATEVER. The next time she got sick was about 6 months later. It was in Feb. of '05 and she woke up at 5 am with a fever of 103.5. I called the boss and left her a voicemail: "Linda, It's Katrina. Chey has a high fever and I won't be dragging her out of the house today. " Well, the douche never listened to her message and called me at 9am ( when I was supposed to be there) " Where are you? I have to leave here" I explained that Chey was sick and blah, blah, blah and she hung up on me. She called me later on in the day to let me know that I wouldn't be needed there anymore. Whatever. I had stayed at this woman's house til' 8pm multiple times ( i was only supposed to work til' 5 the latest) I did her laundry, took care of her kids, did dishes, and took care of her ailing FIL for 10 bucks an hour. I was happy to be done with her.

Then I found this job. I had again made it clear that if Chey were to become sick I would have to stay at home. This arrangement was fine with the family because the father "worked" at home and could do his work via computer should I have to take off. I never did have to take any time off. But, this family was whacked out. Their daughter has bitten my daughter 3 times, the worst time being yesterday when "Victoria" clamped down on Cheys' arm and caused some swelling and bruising. Yet, they never did anything about it. They did not want me to take the kids to the park because " We did a search online and found that there are 3 pedophiles living in the neighborhood" Guess what sweetheart.....they're all over. THey did not want "victoria" eating sweets because " It'll make her sick down the road. We only give her organic foods" OK.....all things I can deal with. Not my style but whatever. But yesterday " Millie" came to me and said " I'm so sorry Victoria bit Chey. I don't know what to tell you other than you won't have to deal with it anymore. Clint and I have decided to place Vic in a daycare program. We talked to the pediatrician about it and he thinks her biting is because she's not socalized. So, in the best interest of everyone involved we're putting her in the program. Please know, it's not anything that you did. You just made us realize that we aren't the greatest of parents. Keeping her in the house all the time isn't fair to her and it's not in her best interest. So, next week Wed. will be your last day" WHAT??!!! O.K. that's fine. I gathered my things and left. I started to cry on the way home because I was fired from yet another nanny job. OK so it's only the second one but it still stings. OH Well. Thus is life.

THe funny thing is that I recieved an email on Tuesday night from a family who found my profile up on a website for nanny's that I am enrolled in. I'm in contact with them. I'm sure they have their hang-ups as well but from what I've read about them, they actually seem pretty "normal" whatever that is.

Pack-Rat

I have come to the conclusion that we have too much stuff! It's almost like an addiction. I go into the office and see shelves of books that have not been opened in years. If we were to actually remove one of these books from the shelves, we'd be covered in a swarm of dust. Also in the office are various Knick-Knacks of sorts that we have collected ( or should I say hoarded) over the years. Some of them we purchased at different festivals or fairs and some of them were just hand me downs from people who thought they were too hideous for "their" homes but thought they'd go perfect in ours. I even have some of my dorm room decor stashed away; as if I'm going to be a co-ed again anytime soon. The closets are even worse. Opening my closet doors is almost the equivalent of stepping back in time. This was brought to my attention about 6 months ago when my friend Lisa ( who was innocently looking for a shirt to wear) exclaimed " Oh Katrina! You still have this shirt? You wore this for graduation" Keep in mind she's talking about HIGH SCHOOL graduation. Yes, I have items in my closet from circa 1997. Since I'm laying it all out on the table I may as well tell you about the boxes in my attic that contain oddities from my junior high days. Stuff that many others would consider trash. I have boxes of pictures, postcards, letters, cards, recipts, keychains ect. all stuffed into random little boxes. Sure, some of the stuff evokes memories but other things have me asking "why the hell did I save that?" Why do I do this? I would like to say that it was a "kid" thing, but I must admit that I saved EVERY receipt from my Honeymoon. I would like to tell you that I have something "crafty" in mind, a scrapbook persay but the thing is: They will probably remain in boxes until the end of time. I won't even tell you all of the random stuff I have saved of my daughter's. It would be much too embarrassing. But, after some contemplating I have decided that I have to start throwing things away and stop being such a pack-rat. But, being my sentimental self, that is going to be quite the challenge. Besides, you can't throw away memories....right?

Anticipation

There should be a medicine for that sick, queezy, nasty feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you are nervous or excited about something. Last night John and I met with a real estate agent about a property we found. We had done some research on the 'net and found a place we might be able to call "home." It comes with major hangups though. it is a foreclosure. Meaning, we have to "bid" for the property; not like a normal property. You won't hear anything regarding your offer for 5-10 days. UGH! I can't sleep, can't eat, can't think straight......all I can think of is this house. SO, wish us luck because this house is just what we need!