A new Journey

Well,
If you have been reading my blogs you know that our family has had some bumps in the road these past few months. I hate to say it but it's not getting any better. I've wracked my brain a thousand times trying to come up with ways to "contribute" or help out financially. And, I can't seem to come up with anything concrete. I have no training or schooling in anything and I only have limited office experience. Every job I've come across pays little. I know that every little bit helps but not when you have to pay for someone to watch your child. In the end I'd only wind up with about $60 in my pocket after a 40 hour work week. It doesn't seem worth it. I've thought about going to Target or Wal-Mart to apply for a job but even that doesn't fit with our schedule. With John working side jobs he's not available to watch the kiddo and I don't think it's fair to ask my mom to work her 40+ work week and then come to "work" watching Cheyenne. In all of this thinking the only feasible thing to do is to go back to school.

I've been thinking about this for a while but it too has posed a problem with childcare issues. Hubby's job is not realiable enough for me to comit to a class schedule. After much researching I've come across a legit online university. I have had a talk with John and he seems to agree that in the long run it is the only way we will ever be able to get ahead. I'm looking into Paralegal studies. From what I've read they actually make decent enough money that it would actually put a dent in some of our bills. I'm so scared. Since I've been out of school for so long I feel like an idiot. I question myself. I don't have that "I can do anything" attitude anymore. If you pray please pray that this is the right choice and that it accomplishes all that we are hoping it will.
If all goes as planned I will have an associates degree in Paralegal studies by August of 2007.

I want so badly to have another child and I've come to the realization that this will never be possible given our circumstances. The only way for this to happen is with me getting a decent job that offers insurance and benefits. I know that I probably won't be able to be a stay-at-home mommy to the 2nd one and although it upsets me I know that you can still be a good mommy and work. At that point Cheyenne will be in full day Kindergarden and I won't have to worry much about her. By that time my mom will also most likely be "jobless" and will be able to take care of the 2nd. She's thinking about quitting her job in July and at that point would be willing to take care of the children. So, I'm crossing my fingers that everything works out.

This is just a "ramble" post. It wasn't intended to amuse or entertain anyone. It was simply something I needed to get off of my chest and out in words. So, if I've bored you I apologize. Then again...does anyone even read this anyways?