I'm so bored

I don't know what it is; the weather is nice and I feel good but I'm bored. I've become this "hermit" of sorts, not wanting to leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary. I did manage to take the kiddo out to the park and I did go to Verizon to get my phone checked out but other than that I did nothing today. I sit here and mope around because I feel lost. We are back to having financial problems and we are back to sqare one regarding baby/school. I/We don't know what is best for our situation and our family. Part of us feels that me going back to school would do wonders for us financially but it would't be the best thing for our family life. I know damn well that if I put hard work into school and become a nurse I won't want to have another one because of my issues with putting my children in daycare. It is nothing more than a personal choice on my part ( I don't look down or criticize women who enroll their kids in daycare) my mom was home with all of us growing up and I want that for my children. On the other hand having a second one without me working would be financial suicide for us. I don't see how we would survive on John's income with 2 children. I guess I could have another one and continue on with school part-time but knowing the work that is involved with the nursing program I don't see how I would balance 2 children and school. Another issue is the fact that John's company refuses to get insurance rolling for their employees. His boss keeps feeding him the "It's coming" line. It's been "coming" for 3 years now. It's not that hard to get insurance rolling. His boss doesn't have insurance either so it doesn't make much sense. He has 3 small children so to me it's insane that he just doesn't apply for some small-business insurance. At any rate I don't know if we wait until that coverage is in place or just sign up on our own and wait the 4 months for the maternity coverage to become active. But, this is what I think about all day. It's like it never ends; it consumes me. It consumes me to the point of not being able to be productive around the house, it causes me to be "absent" from Chey's life because I'm trying to figure out what's best for her and for us. I don't know how much longer I can live like this because frankly; it sucks. I'm tired of the constant stress headaches or the nauseous feeling I always have in the pit of my stomach. I'm a never ending sea of ailments. I spend countless hours "surfing" the web for insurance plans, maternity clothes, school information and loads more. I couldn't even tell you the amount of time I spend online trying to find something that makes me feel better about decisions we are making ( or not making at this point) I'm trying so hard to figure things out but can't seem to come to any solid conclusions. At this point I'm debating on whether or not I should go back to work full time just to have the insurance so we can have another kid. Then I feel self-fish because I feel that I am not going to be able to spend as much time with Cheyenne just so I can have another baby ( even though it's for her as well) So, that's it for now. That's where I'm at with everything. No closer than I was 2 months ago. Wish me luck; I need all I can get at this point!