Division of Labor

Now, it's not some government department. I'm talking about dividing household chores equally among married couples. I've been having some issues with DH about housework and we're kind of at war about the whole topic. I have the responisbility of taking care of everything that is related to the care of Cheyenne and the household. This includes ( but is not limited to) Doing laundry, cooking meals, doing dishes, paying bills, managing accounts, doing random housework such as picking up toys etc. taking out trash, getting the oil changed in my car, filling up my gas tank etc. The list goes on. John on the other hand comes home from work and literally does nothing. He does not interact with Cheyenne, he does not put his dishes in the dishwasher, does not wipe his piss stains off the toilet, does not wipe out the sink after brushing his teeth, does not wipe counters down if he should spill and the list goes on and on. I am beginning to feel like a live in maid. I have never complained about this arrangement as John works more than the usual 40 hour work week. There are sidejobs that he does and his work is not "foo-foo" work it's manual, physical, grueling labor. So, I understand the concept of being exhausted at days end. However, John also has a job here. As a husband and a father. Just because he clocks out at the end of the day does not mean his shift is over. His shift, in reality is just beginning. Cheyenne does not understand the concept of being too tired to play a game or do a puzzle. She does not understand that Daddy just worked 15 hours and would like to watch something other than cartoons. He does not understand that his time with her is limited and should be taken advantage of. He expects her 3 1/2 year old mind to be O.K. with Daddy being lazy when he gets home. He expects her to know that he's tired and doesn't want to be bothered. This gets under my skin. She longs for his attention and she does not get it from him. His idea of quality time with her is putting on a ball game and having her be quiet through the whole thing. Even a "family time" activity such as dinner is usually an uncomfortable experience. It is quiet and she is expected to act like a "big girl" and "eat" whatever is put in front of her. I am at wits end with him and things came to a head last night when he made a comment about me doing the "wrong" laundry. Apparently, there are things that he needs washed that aren't getting washed and he can't find anything to wear in the 9 baskets of clean laundry that are cluttering up the laundry room. I, personally find this hard to believe but he claims this is the case. John works outside so he has to layer in colder months. This is a typical outfit for him in the winter: 3 pairs of socks, a pair of long underwear and a pair of pants, a tank shirt, a t-shirt, a short sleeved T, a long sleeved T and a sweater or sweatshirt over that. Then, when he gets home he showers and again puts on a tank shirt, a longsleeved shirt, long underwear, 2 pairs of socks and a pair of jeans. That a ton of laundry for me to keep up with when you take into consideration that he works 6 days a week. I can't keep up. There are literally 9 baskets full in the basement full of clean laundry that apparently he can't wear cause it's not "what he needs for the weather" Well, if it's not good enough, then do your own laundry and stop bitching at me about getting it wrong. I think he is aware that he needs to do more around here to help out but at the same time I feel as if he plays dumb to get out of doing stuff. Things like "i don't know where the cups go" Excuse me, you know where they are when you need one to drink out of so you indeed know where they go when they are clean. It is all an excuse to get out of doing something. We are having a talk about this when he arrives home from work and I need to figure out exactly what to tell him I need done around here. This should be an interesting conversation.