The Blame Game

I'm so pissed off at DH right now. In fact, I'm pissed off at a lot of things right now. I am so tired of feeling like everything that goes wrong is my fault. Believe me when I say that I know I am not perfect and I do make mistakes but 9 times out of 10 it isn't my fault. I try to keep the home and finances in somewhat of order. I pay what bills I can with the money that my husband makes. Part of the problem lies in the fact that my husband traded in a job that paid well and offered health insurance for a job that pays 1/2 of what he used to make that is sans insurance. I worked for a while and things got a tad better. When I got let go, I wasn't too upset because we had cut back on a lot of things. We never went out to eat, we downgraded the cable to the basic package, we ditched the house phone ect. So, things were working out pretty well. Then came the winter and we fell behind on a ton of bills. So much so that every paycheck we deposit is spent solely on bills. We don't buy things that we don't need ( with the exception of a $2 rug I purchased) I never fill my tank up during the week. I put $10 bucks in there and it lasts me. I don't go anywhere other than to drop the kiddo off at school. Today all hell broke loose here because Mr. Concerned checked the checking account and discovered that it was once again severely negative. He called me up ranting and raving about the account and when I pointed out to him that it wasn't my fault he asked " then who's is it?" I don't know the answer to that. I guess you could say in a way it is HIS fault. Nobody told him to quit his high-paying job ( he made that decision without even consulting with me; it was a hot-headed decision) He blames his boss "well, it's not my fault things are slow right now" O.K. Fine, it's not your fault that things are slow. But, it is your fault for continuting to work for a company that doesn't find someway to keep you busy when the weather is shitty. I got so fed up that I handed him the checkbook and the mound of bills that need to be paid and I told him that I'm on strike. If he thinks that the state of the account is in any way my fault I challenge him to be better. The only bill that I will take responsibility for is the mortgage. That is in my parent's name and I'll be damned if I let him screw up their credit. That bill will be paid on the 16th of the month no matter what he has to say about it.

I had my interview today and it went well. It pays $1 less than I had figured on so I'll think it over and probably wind up taking it. At that point I will open up my own savings/checking account and him and I can have a contest: Who's account is in better shape. I'm excited about finally getting out of the house and being somewhat independant. I'm sick of feeling like I don't contribute because I don't work.

Well, that's the scoop of the day. Thanks for reading!